THIS WEEK I BOUGHT FOUR COMICS

This week I bought four comics. Four comics not including Scott Pilgrim: Gets It Together, because that was more like a gift. An EARLY gift. And I've already spoken a little about it below somewhere. DID YOU READ IT? You better have. Anyway, so this week was pretty decent for Vertigo titles that I'm up on, because there was both a new issue of 100 Bullets and Fables, both of which were pretty great and I'll get to them in a minute. This week also had a new All-Star Superman, and any week with ASS is a mighty fine week. I'm not really allowed to talk about that one though, because the other Tom, Tom B, is going to tell you all about it, but I will say that I liked it. I will say that. The other book I bought this week and CAN talk about but don't really WANT to, is Sword. Or The Sword. I'm not sure what the fuck it's called now. Last month it was Sword and this month it had THE Sword on the cover. Oh well. If that had've been the biggest continuity cock-up on that book, it might have been slightly less crappy than your Sister after trying to please her German boyfriend by making a video for his birthday. DON'T DO IT.


Anyhow.


100 Bullets #86 - (Azzarello, Risso - Vertigo)

This, like so many 100 Bullets issues of late, was a stand-alone tale of revenge and retribution, exploring a vast range of motivations for KILLING SOMEONE IN THE HEAD WITH AN AXE. Yeah, you heard. Don't make people repeat themselves, it's rude. But, unlike previous stand-alone issues about these subjects, what was interesting was that Agent Graves (The old dude. The one with Sunglasses? Oh, just scroll down, read the 100 Bullets feature, fuck off, and realise that you've been born) didn't offer anyone a briefcase to prompt these ultra-violent actions. There was no contrived set-up, or manufactured backdrop of intrigue to the focused tale of taking matters into your own hands. And there were subsequently no 100 untraceable bullets (READ. BELOW.), hence the axe. What else was interesting was that it wasn't a random member of the population who was the feature of the book. It wasn't a random snap-shot of violence seen through the window of Graves' cruising limousine. This featured one of his own men, out there on the edge and taking their own initiative independent of him. With only 14 issues of this book left, I'm wondering what sort of significance that will have as things come to a head, but for now AXE MURDER. Oh, and another great issue from Risso. This is 86 in a row that I can find absolutely no fault with. Apart from those few panels in that one issue where he let other people draw some of the characters. That was a bit rubbish. But this wasn't even a bit rubbish.


Fables #67 (Willingham, Buckingham - Vertigo)

First things first. Because that's where the first thing goes. The covers to Fables have been the consistent best of any title for a long time now. James Jean, who does the shit out them, is just amazingly talented. This book is about fairy-tales re-imagined. His covers look like fairy-tales re-imagined. As beautiful works of art. As good as this book is, and it's very good indeed, the covers are always what stick with me. If I thought I might be able to do it without then having to bite off my hands with my teeth, wait for the flesh to pass through my body and then set the excrement on fire with my eyes, I'd cut the covers off these bad-boys and wall-paper my room with them. I AM NOT KIDDING. Am I? But, right, to the INTERIOR of the comic, where stuff generally happens. Oh, there was dialogue in there. The thing with Fables is that it's incredibly dense. Much like yourselves. There's a lot of dialogue to sift through, and you're never quite sure what's going to have greater relevance later on, and what's just a cute turn of phrase for now. Because Willingham has proven himself to be a master of the long-arc build-ups, and it's sometimes a little bit of a gamble to predict where they're coming from next. There's a sort of battle in this one. But nothing really happens. And a giant. Who's a pussy. And ghosts. Who are good guys. How about that. Shattered my fucking preconceptions about ghosts and giants, let me tell you.


Sword (THE Sword?) #2 - (The Luna Brothers - Image)

The Luna Brothers sure put out pretty comics. I didn't really get into their last offering Girls, because despite featuring page after page of beautifully rendered nudity, it seemed a bit like a book about zombies or aliens or some shit, and I'm not really that bothered about that stuff in my comics. Superpowers or axes, or witless banter. Keep it simple comics. (ASIDE! Hey, Tom B, that's what we should've called this column - Keep It Simple Comics!) Anyway, I thought I'd give the brothers a chance anyhows, because I really enjoyed their Ultra mini, and because they seem like nice guys. From their names. I like their names. Luna. Looona....Wait, what? Oh, oh yeah. Ok, so this new titles first issue was out last month, and it was called Sword. It was a pretty solid little Kill Billy setup, with some mystical or magical elements or whatever, and the reveal at the end was enough to hook me for this second issue. Well, for starters this second issue is BORING. And another thing that this second issue is, is BORING. But in addition to those two flaws, there's some meta-lit mystery being played out here about the manifestations of myths and whatnot, which I'm not sure I'm interested in at all. That sort of thing was decent in Promethea, but that's because Promethea was written by Alan Moore, and he's some sort of crazy word-wizard who lives in a cave and wears rings on his fingers. (Hey, do you guys know Alan Moore? Oh my Zeus. You're in for a treat. Scroll down a little and let my boy Tom B tell you all about him. That cat is wild.) But, in this, THE SWORD, doesn't get used AT ALL. That's pretty inexcusable. Instead of action, we have premature exposition on our hands. And on our faces. And in our hair. Feel dirty.

Love,

Tom W

Ps. It turns out that last month's issue of The Sword also had a tiny little EASILY MISSED "THE" in the top left corner of the cover. I apologise for ranting about that. But please, rest assured, THE SWORD STILL SUCKS.

MEGA EXCLUSIVE EARLY REVIEW


Ok, so because I'm a little bit cooler than most people, I got this next, HIGHLY-ANTICIPATED (by us), comic a little bit early. The fact that I was only ducking into Gosh Comics to escape the harsh winds of Winter, and randomly stumbled upon the stacks and stacks of advance release copies just, I think, adds to my cool. Shut up. It's cool. Stuff happening randomly is cool. Oh, whatever.

SCOTT PILGRIM: GETS IT TOGETHER (Volume 4) - Bryan Lee O'Malley (Oni)

This is awesome. It's been a long wait between volumes (over a YEAR), but it turned out to be totally worth it. This is my favourite catalogue of Scott Pilgrim's escapades to date. In this volume of Scott Pilgrim, he actually gets it together, it's not even just a clever name. He sorts himself out a little while maintaing his cutesy shambolic charm that we've come to love (and relate to). This book is also more complicated than the last 3. It's not just a straight-forward little tale of boy trying to be awesome in his own dorky way, but now it has layers and texture and all sorts of those things which flesh out stories and turn them from things which simply allow geeks to read them and say "awesome" into things which evoke a few "hmm"s scattered in there as well. HMM, AWESOME? That's right! I'm so glad you're getting it! This book has heart. Hell, this book is about heart. And levelling up. Those positive aspects of story progression, however, also signal a slight change of pace for O'Malley. The funnies are less immediate. Don't get me wrong, there are still quite a few idiosyncratic-LOLs (the page which shows how Scott's brain reacts to his realisation about Ramona's fourth evil EX is particularly amazing), but they're not the central focus of the book. Relationships maybe are.* And that's not to say that this is all mopey and emo, because it's quite the opposite. Sure, all the main characters have floppy fringes, but SO DID YOUR DAD AND HE STILL HAD SEX WITH YOUR MUM AND THAT'S WHERE YOU CAME FROM SO STOP BITCHING. All in all, this comic made me smile. I read it on the crapper in the Queen Mary Arts Building, and let me tell you, those art kids do not smell good in their pants-parts, so making me smile was quite an accomplishment.

But hey, don't take my word for it. If you check us out tomorrow, Tom B will be giving you his take on this little gem. Come back for that, internet. What else have you got to do? ...

Love,
Tom W

*TANGENT!
Relationships, man. I'm telling you. They're pretty confusing. I mean, one minute you're strolling along and find a tenner on the ground, so you pick it up and scream "FUCK YEAH!" in a stranger's face and text your girlfriend to tell her about it, and the next minute you're on MAURY because you may or may not have a baby with a girl called Piggy, who happens to be related to both your girlfriend and you. Sexy? SOMETIMES. And that's how complicated relationships are.

On A Scale Of 1 to AWESOME, This Is Pretty Great

Hey, great piece, Tom B. I'm pretty sure that the exploding dinosaur head is the most awesome thing that's going to happen around here, or anywhere else, for quite a while.

Though, I both look forward to and fear your next contribution, Quite Wicked Religions and Messiahs - Jesus.

I mean, how am I supposed to follow ALAN MOORE?
Hey buddy, I remember my first fringe comic by an industry godfather too!
...

Right, well I'm going to talk about a comic that I quite like now. It's sort of stupid sometimes, but it's mostly not, and it's sort of fantastic sometimes, but it mostly is. I like 100 Bullets.



100 Bullets is just so good. It is. I'm sorry. Deal with it. It's written by Brian Azzarello, and drawn, perfectly!, by Eduardo Risso. Azzarello's an American and Risso is some kind of Mexican or something, and they mail each other their work and collaborate over vast distances. It's sort of beautiful, no? Like The Postal Service of comics, but less material about having your heart hurt because a girl broke your hair straighteners, and more stuff about having your heart hurt because there's a bullet in it. I know!

Here's the premise (pay attention): So this guy, this old guy, he's wearing sunglasses, right? And you think, "What the shit? Why is this old craggy dude wearing sunglasses?" But then this old guy comes and sits next to you and makes inane chat about how great the chair he's sitting on is or something, and you're all like, "Frosty Jesus! Where is this old guy going with this?!", but then BAM. Briefcase. Old guy gives you a briefcase. In it is a GUN, 100 untraceable bullets, and incontrovertible proof that you should probably shoot someone in the face. What would you do?

It's so simple!

Well, that's the basic premise. There's also an over-arcing, um, arc, about a violent aristocracy being over-thrown in modern day America, but that has bullets in it too, so it's ok.

So far, there've been, I think, 86 issues, and it's going to run to a full 100, because it's called 100 Bullets and that sort of synchronicity is cool. It's just cool.

Next time I speak to you guys I might make a feature out of my favourite character from this series. I'm not telling you who it is though. You won't guess it. Seriously, you won't. IT'S NOT THIS GUY.
EVEN THOUGH HE CUTS OFF PEOPLE'S WANGS AND SMOKES THEM IN A TOTALLY HETERO AND SCARILY AWESOME WAY!

So, yeah. Tune in next time to find out who's even cooler than that maybe.

Love,
Tom W